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An Open Letter to Playstation Home Users

With the holiday rush behind me, I’ve finally found some time to collect my thoughts and construct an original post. It’s a shame I had to start off 2010 complaining, but I’ve tried to keep it light and snarky. I long for the day when none of this needs to be pointed out and gender is a non-issue within the geek world.

Dear fellow gamer,

I’d like to go over a few key facts related to our recent meeting and interaction via Playstation Home. In order to provide a more considerate and appropriate virtual environment for all involved, please carefully read the following statements and adjust your behavior accordingly. Doing so will result in more positive social exchanges and diminish the degree to which you seem like an ass.

1. Yes, I am really a female. You do not have to vocally question whether my avatar is a faithful representation of my gender. I am not a middle-aged man attempting to lure your irresistibly attractive male avatar into a scandalous sexting escapade. Don’t flatter yourself: if that were the case, why wouldn’t I just stalk you on Myspace like all the other weirdos instead of suffering through Home’s terrible load times and bugs?

2. No, I do not enjoy being hit on constantly. Believe it or not, I am happily married and have no interest in you beyond friendship and networking. Even if I were on the prowl, my patience for random avatars approaching me with such sophisticated conversation openers as “hey sexy” would be very limited indeed. This may come as a shock to you if your only previous experiences involving both women and video games are related to Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball and Japanese dating sims, but trust me on this one.

3. No, I do not want to discuss my sexuality with you. I know, it’s crazy right? It seems totally illogical that I might frequent a virtual social platform on a gaming console, which is populated by other gamers, to primarily discuss video games (not sex toys). I also am not interested in hearing your insightful speculations as to my previous sexploits, present preferences, or future willingness to participate in lurid activities with you or anyone else. Discourse by no means need be restricted to purely game speak, but a line of questioning related to my cup size is most decidedly off topic.

Sincerely,
A normal gamer on Playstation Home
(who happens to also be a woman)